the ghosts of night, the dreams of day

Somebody, who was recently leafing through one of my sketchbooks, remarked on how unsketchbooky my sketchbooks are. It's true, of course. Almost all of my books are obsessively finished and presented. I rarely sketch, and have been meaning to change the name of this blog from 'sketchblog' to 'drawing blog' for as long as I can remember. I see every sketchbook I'm working on as being an actual finished piece. As a whole.

So, I don't really own any sketchy type sketchbooks. I do, however, have books that are filled with words, quotes, titles, names. References, basically. Ideas and references. They are the closest I get to a sketchbook. In the past I always wanted to be the kind of artists that is really sketchy and loose in the way they work. Here, in a pathetic attempt to show how sketchy and free and easy I am, I turned one of my reference pages into this drawing. Convinced? Nah, me neither. It just looks like a doodle by somebody with a serious mental illness.

I have accepted that I am not one of those artists. I'm as obsessive as the day is long. And what's really bugging me about this drawing is that I didn't add more to it, especially in the bottom left hand corner. There's always tomorrow, I suppose.