For those of you who may have been under the impression I've seen and done it all, here is a list of things I've never done. Note that not all of them are likely, or even advisable, to do. I have never...

• eaten a pork pie, coronation chicken, or a scampi (whatever that is). I don't remember ever having had a banger, though it's possible I did and have since purged the experience from my memory banks.
  
• had a threesome with two men (preferably bi). Definitely have not accidentally done so and purged the memory of the experience afterwards. This upsets me probably more than it should.
  
• tried drugs, apart from:
  a. the time in book 1 when a client was using poppers, and I'm not sure that counts, and
  b. alcohol. Obviously.
  
• been to Liverpool. And until a fortnight ago, Wales would also have been on that list.
  
• been able to remember my mother's birthday. I am usually good with dates, so this is particularly unusual.
  
• found negligees exciting. Let me see, you want me to take off my clothes, put on clothes, then take those clothes off straightaway? And what was the problem with good old knickers, stockings, and bra again?
  
• imagined what my wedding dress might look like, or what my children's names would be, or what my first name would look like next to someone else's surname. (That said, in the last 24 hours I have identified an ale that should be served at my wedding, should such event ever occur. Priorities, people.)
  
• chosen mayonnaise when salad cream was an option. Ever.
  
• caught my parents having sex. And now they're divorced, never will. Whew.
  
• been attracted to a man who didn't, at least in some small way, remind me of my father. In its most basic incarnation this usually translates as significantly taller than me.