So now we have discussed N's Quantum Theory of Relationships, here is a new one for you: Belle's Bayesian Theory of Relationships.

For those of you not au fait with the ins and outs of probability theory, rest assured, I don't know from Fermat either. In fact my main source of statistical knowledge was an Irish gambling addict I lived with back at Uni. Here comes the science bit - Bayesian probability, as far as I understand it, is a method of predicting future performance based on past results. As A2's Canadian mate D likes to say to his toddlers when they are mid-strop, 'what we have here is an example of inductive reasoning.' Through observation and experiment, we can upgrade our opinions.

Or in other words, you choose the horse at the track based on its last few races, not because you like its name.

You might be saying to yourself, well Belle, this is bleeding obvious. Who doesn't assess a relationship in this way? And the answer would be, nearly everyone. Regular readers will have a sense of how exactly how flipping long I didn't factor in past unacceptable behaviour in my choice of mate - never, never again. Being perfectly honest ladies, we are excruciatingly guilty of this in almost every instance.

'What that implies is there is no place for faith in a relationship,' N groused during another of our marathon bath-chat sessions. I find I think more clearly in the bath. Pity I can't work from there, but ah well.

'What I'm saying is that faith is earned, not given,' I said. 'You are permitted to disagree.'

'Cheers, I will.' He would. He's hung up on a woman who has treated him like a cock-for-hire without giving back anything significant for, oh, I think about three years now. He is invested. She is not changing. And her personal track record would seem to suggest she can't.

'When she figures out what she wants, she'll see how good I am for her,' N said.

I rolled my eyes - thank fuck for phones sometimes. 'When she figures out what she wants, she'll start fresh with someone else,' I said. 'They never realise what they have until it's too late.'

'Last of the romantics, you are,' N said.

'Like the clown said, you only get one chance with Edna Krabappel.'

I have the feeling it's going to take a lot more time in the bath before he finally sees sense.